Why do we tell stories?

I think that most of us, beyond writers and communicators, love to tell stories. Whether it’s about stories from a time and place that’s far in the past, or making mundane occurrences sound fascinating, there’s a little bit of a storyteller in us.

Storytelling is how we make sense of the world, or at least how we make sense of our small part of it. Throughout recorded history, telling stories is how we build culture, grow families, share our histories – it’s how we live. And story telling is everywhere. It’s a part of all the conversations we have, the marketing that drives our decision making. It’s how we think of ourselves.

So, why stories? What makes them so important to us and why is it one of the most powerful means of communication?

1.      To determine meaning

Stories help us understand why things happen, and what it means when they do. This is different from facts. Facts are the details about what happened. But stories explain why it matters.

With the Winter Olympics this week, I’ve caught a few episodes of people who do ridiculously amazing things while screaming downhill on ice or skating across sheets of it. As someone who grew up in Alabama, I can’t identify with that – my childhood (thankfully) didn’t involve ice and snow with any regularity.

Last night something incredible happened – the Japanese won their first medal in pairs figure skating. That’s a fact. It’s also a fact that they were not in a great position to do that, coming into their final skate. Their score was lower than four other teams. Yesterday, their score was higher than anyone else’s. Facts. But that doesn’t really connect.

They were favored to win the gold coming into the games. But Sunday night, they had a mistake – a big one that impacted their score. The emotion on their part was heartbreaking. I could imagine the stress; the pressure they were under to meet the expectations. He was inconsolable, she looked shocked. Last night following their skate, there were more tears. This time, however, they were because they had gone out and been determined to erase the heartbreak of the night before. It was flawless. And the judges agreed. Their score was the highest of the season. As the final teams performed, they waited. No other teams were able to come close to that score. By the end, it was obvious that they had indeed captured the gold.

See the difference between facts and storytelling? No sports reporter could make a living off just reporting the facts. They give you an insight into the feeling of the moment, the improbability of success. They tell you a story.

2.      To connect with others

Using stories builds empathy and deepens emotional response. Like the story of the skaters, storytelling isn’t just sharing information, it’s sharing an experience. That sharing builds trust and connection. Think of stories beyond sports, the stories you heard during history class of ordinary people who inspired countless others to take a risk and act. They used storytelling as a way of connecting with their audience.

3.      To remember and be remembered

Raise your hand if you remember exactly how many days Anne Frank hid with her family in the attic? What was the address where they were? What was the date of her first diary entry?

Are those facts important? Yes. They’re important because they build the story. Through them we see a young girl and her family continue to live their life in circumstances they never dreamed could happen. In the middle of Amsterdam, eight people were at the mercy of others who risked their lives to help them. Many of us have read her diary, but the facts about the days (760), the address (Prinsengracht 263), and the date of her first diary entry (June 12, 1942) have long since been forgotten. Those facts matter because the story is an extraordinary testament to human resilience, and to human corruption.

 We remember the narrative more than we remember specific information. When we have forgotten the details, we recall the connection and the way it made us feel. Across education and business, professionals use storytelling to help people recall the important things. The facts aren’t always what’s important – why they matter always is.

4.      To persuade and influence 

A good story can shift opinions and bring people to action. That’s why storytelling is at the heart of marketing and public relations, why political campaigns highlight personal stories to change opinions or pass legislation. Stories change how we feel. Facts may not always be used to make decisions, but our emotions and our feelings almost always are.

5.      To entertain

So, do we tell stories just to change behavior? No, absolutely not. Otherwise, why would there be children’s bedtime stories, or movies, or television shows. We use stories to entertain others. It’s about laughter and joy. Think about camping, and sitting around the fire telling stories, made-up or real. Now think about our distant ancestors who did the very same thing. Storytelling isn’t always done with a clear objective. Sometimes it’s just to make people happy.

6.      To define identity

We all use stories to help explain more about us, to let people into our world. Through our stories we share who we are and where we come from. As my husband was stationed around the world with the Marine Corps, we didn’t always live around people who grew up in a small town in the south like we did. We could have given them the facts – how many people were in our town, how close all my cousins lived, how many students were in our high school. But, outside of stories, those facts wouldn’t give the emotion and the feeling of growing up in a small town.

Telling stories about sitting on the porch with grandparents after gardening or piling in the back of a car on a Sunday afternoon to go driving through backroads. Those are the kinds of stories that would give life to where we grew up, not just a list of facts and figures.

Stories tell people what we believe. The things we focus on in our stories reflect our innermost self. They illustrate our purpose and what we believe is our place in the world.

7.      To imagine possibilities

Stories don’t always just focus on the past to understand. We use stories to nod toward the future to encourage dreaming or aspiring to achieve something wonderful. We recently did college visits with my daughter. Of course you could find lists of potential majors, extracurricular activities, and all the attendance figures during these visits. But what they focused on were the students who have already achieved things my daughter wants to do. See? This student from a place like you and who loves the same things you love already did this. You can do it, too.

Imagine if Henry Ford had focused entirely on the specifics of his new car’s engines in his communication. Would it have influenced people? Maybe some of them. There were so few who understood cars then that the number would be impossibly small.

He, of course, didn’t focus on those specifics. He focused on his effort to make cars accessible to everyone. They represented freedom and independence that had been out of reach for ordinary Americans. He promoted his assembly line – not for the efficiencies of it, but because the cost savings made his cars affordable. It made them easier to purchase for families. Which means they could decide where they wanted to go and when they wanted to do it.

Ford’s stories allowed people to dream about what they may never have considered until that point. It gave them permission to dream, and the vehicle (pun slightly intended) to do it.

Storytelling is used throughout religion as well. A wonderful example of storytelling can be found in the Bible, one is the story of David and Goliath. The facts? A young boy kills a giant with a slingshot. The story? One of courage and an unshakable faith. A young, small boy who was chosen by God to battle a fierce opponent, one who laughed at David when he saw him. Using only his sling shot, he relied on faith to overcome a great challenge, using a single smooth stone to slay Goliath and change the course of his young life.

What about the son who had everything he wanted, and demanded he receive his inheritance early. He spent it all and then came back home penniless. The story of the prodigal son goes far beyond the facts to reveal a father whose love for his son surpassed all the disappointment and hurt. It's completely relatable for all of us, and the characters are those that we can easily see ourselves in. The story is one of redemption and forgiveness, far beyond a young man losing his money.

Storytelling is a tool we use every day both in our professional and personal lives. Some of us choose to tell fictional stories, but there’s still a reason. We want to connect with people, to inspire them and encourage them.

What are your favorite stories? Real or made up, or does it even matter?